Dynamic duo leap into action to help married couples!

Shannon and Shelly Batman to offer marital enrichment retreat over Valentine’s weekend

Shelly and Shannon Batman in Giverny, France, at the home of Claude Monet, in 2024. (Courtesy Photo/Shelly Batman)

The world is facing a crisis.

So many young people choose not to marry and start a family. The dynamic duo of marital enrichment can help! Shannon and Shelly Batman, known in the Diocese of Boise for leading “Dynamic Marriage” and “Habits for a Healthy Marriage,” are part of the St. John’s Marriage Enrichment Team. They are providing a marriage enrichment opportunity on Feb.14-15 at St. John’s Cathedral (scan the QR Code for more information).

I asked the St. John’s team why it is offering this marriage event now. Shelly shared, “First, it is the Jubilee Year of Hope; second, National Marriage Week is February 7-14; and third, it is Valentine’s Day!

“What a perfect time to offer a series of talks that will hopefully provide couples with hope, inspiration and insight into themselves and their marriages. In our marriage journey, learning about God’s plan for marriage has been instrumental to our hope and healing.”

Shelly pointed out that Catholic couples often do not understand the beauty of a sacramental marriage. At the Feb. 14 and 15 event, couples will discover how to become better spouses and enjoy a more fulfilling marriage.

The Batmans are no strangers to struggles in their own married relationship, and they found that the teachings of the Church helped them on their journey to renewal, and forgiveness and the healing of their marriage. They became so convinced by what they learned that they wanted to help other couples on their healing journey. Many couples do not nurture their relationships on a regular basis.

“To maintain a strong and fulfilling marriage requires that it be a priority in the life of both spouses. It requires time and effort from both. As Father Mike Schmitz recently explained, ‘There is no difference between love and attention,’” Shelly Batman explained.

“Without a conscious effort to prioritize our marriages, they will wither, and spouses will drift apart. Through our facilitation of ‘Dynamic Marriage’ and ‘Habits for a Healthy Marriage,’ we have found that some couples, over time, will begin to experience dysfunctional habits. Through these classes, couples are provided a platform that encourages self-reflection and a roadmap to transform dysfunctional habits into productive habits,” Shelly said.

Shannon Batman shared, “Marriage is not meant to be a stagnant relationship. If it does become stagnant, it slips backward, which puts it in peril. People change, life changes, so it is important to continue working on your marriage to keep it from becoming stagnant.”

The Batmans explained that parishes can be a principal place for marriage renewal. Couples learn more about the Sacrament of Marriage in their churches, where they gain insights into our faith for becoming stronger spouses in Christ. The witness of other Catholic married couples is powerful: they share how they live and love Christ through one another.

“The Catholic church provides wonderful programs for marriage preparation. However, it is not until we get into the trenches of marriage that we start to struggle with the challenges and distractions of the world and the effects of those on our marriage. It is hard to find marriage enrichment formats where couples can learn together, connecting and sharing God’s plans for marriage with practical applications of these principles to their own marriages,” Shelly shared.

Shannon agreed, “Marriage is foundational to a healthy society. Marriage reflects the love that Christ has for his Church. It is imperative that parishes provide tools for couples to use to strengthen their marriage and their relationship with God.”

I asked the Batmans what the Feb. 14 and 15 enrichment will offer couples. Shelly commented, “Whether you have a good marriage, a struggling marriage, whether you are engaged or single, this series will provide something for everyone!”

The Batmans explained that clergy will provide a refresher on God’s teachings about marriage, followed by testimonies from couples about how this knowledge has helped in their marriage. Activities to apply this knowledge and experience to couples’ own marriages will follow the presentations.

Shelly added, “We hope that couples will be renewed by a knowledge of God’s plan for marriage and how we can apply three foundational concepts to our marriages: self-knowledge, sacramental knowledge, and servant-knowledge. These will help spouses grow together and experience a more fulfilling marriage.”

“The world and secular society have muddied the meaning of marriage to the point that we can become confused about what marriage is and what it means. We all desire to be loved unconditionally for our whole life. The Catholic Church teaches us that we are loved this way, and this healthy relationship requires giving ourselves to the other. In contrast, the world encourages us to ask, ‘What’s in it for me?’” said Shelly.

“When we change our view from selflessness to selfishness, love dies. We often think that the opposite of love is hate, but the opposite of love is selfishness. The world teaches selfishness; the Church teaches selflessness. Selfishness leads to an inward focus that spirals into discontent, dysfunction, depression, and anxiety. Selflessness leads to a focus of gratitude, humility, peace and contentment,” Shelly explained.

Shannon agreed, “Society has glorified the individual and the concept of ‘do whatever I want to satisfy me.’ This is counter to the sacrifice that is critical to a healthy marriage. God also intended marriage to be blessed by the procreation of children. But children are now seen as a hindrance to individuality.”

The Batmans noted that couples need to invest in their relationships. What is vowed in marriage is not a one-and-done proposition.

“Much like a car needs oil changes and maintenance to continue running at peak performance, a marriage needs continual nurturing and maintenance to function, grow and advance the couple on their mutual journey to heaven,” Shannon noted.

Shelly concluded, “There are annual continuing education requirements in most professions. Couples need to invest in their marriage in this same way by attending events that can educate and strengthen their marriage. It’s a choice…invest in your marriage and grow together instead of drifting apart.”

Have a blessed Marriage Week, Feb 7-14, 2025!