Men's Conference strengthens families, enlivens parishes

Salt & Light Radio's 10th annual Idaho Men's Conference brings together grandfathers, fathers and sons.

Father Joshua Waltz leads the assembly in prayer during Adoration at Salt & Light Radio's annual Idaho Catholic Men's Conference at Holy Apostles Parish in Meridian on Feb. 1. (ICR Photo/Joe Egbert)

By Gene Fadness

for the ICR

MERIDIAN—About 970 men attended Salt & Light Radio's annual Idaho Catholic Men’s Conference at Holy Apostles Church in Meridian, with about another 200 at watch parties throughout the state, according to Johnny Horn and Travis Wingo, who have been the primary organizers of the event throughout its 10-year history.

“It’s really good to see grandfathers and fathers bringing their sons. This conference is becoming a staple in the community that men look forward to every year,” said Wingo.

Over the span of the decade, the event has become one of the “premier conferences” in the Northwest, if not the largest, Wingo noted. “We are in a groove, finally at a point where other places are seeking our advice, which has allowed us to help with other conferences around the nation.”

The conference began with a morning Mass celebrated by Bishop Peter Christensen. Speakers included Father Joshua Waltz, a priest in the Diocese of Bismarck, N.D.; Joseph Vogel, an Idaho native and founder of InitiateMen.com; and Jason Evert, a well-known Catholic author and chastity speaker.

Wingo explained that because of the culture that exists today, the over-

arching theme that Catholic men must seek a deeper spiritual life, strengthen their families and enliven the Church has been echoed at nearly all past Idaho conferences.

Each year, Salt & Light Radio brings the Idaho Catholic Men's Conference to the Diocese of Boise, as well as the Idaho Catholic Women's Conference, Conferencia Católica de Hombres de Idaho and Congreso Católico de Mujeres en Idaho.

JOSEPH VOGEL, who worked in youth ministry for more than 20 years with NET Ministries, said we have become a “fatherless nation.” He quoted the American philosopher-poet Henry David Thoreau, who said, “I see the mass of men leading lives of quiet desperation.”

Today’s culture is not much different, even to the point of killing its children, Vogel said. He encouraged the men at the conference not to forget that “God says you have only one King—worship Me or worship the world.”

Vogel encouraged fathers to create initiation rituals for their sons to help them become the men God calls them to be and welcome them into the community of men. “We don’t do this well in our culture,” Vogel said.

Vogel and his wife have eight children and a nephew they have recently taken in. When a son turns 13, Vogel takes him for a steak dinner. “I talk about manhood with him: rejecting passivity, loving sacrificially and living charitably.”

Before dinner, they stop at a chapel where Vogel asks his son to pray for a word that helps him understand his emerging role as a man. At dinner, Vogel explained that he gifts his son a Bible, connecting the celebration with faith in Jesus, who is the ultimate example of what it means to be a man. He also gives his son a shaving kit “with a serious razor.” The son’s first shave becomes a well-photographed family event.

The culture today says that masculinity is “toxic,” Vogel said. “Masculinity is not spoken about in a positive manner anymore.”

Yet, Vogel added that a genuine masculinity that is self-sacrificing is exactly what the culture needs. Fathers who are truly present in the home are essential to restoring a culture that values masculinity and femininity. “When fathers are not present, boys have difficulty expressing emotion, have increased aggression, mental health struggles and higher rates of depression,” he said.

It’s vital that sons be given responsibilities so they can develop self-respect and self-discipline and won’t look for validation outside the home, Vogel noted.

“Boys can have distorted views of what it means to be a man and then adopt harmful stereotypes of masculinity like violence, emotional detachment and dominance,” Vogel said. “They struggle with roles in society, community and family; and are insecure in their identity as men.”

Boys struggle in their relationships when fathers are not present, Vogel explained, resulting in a lack of a sense of belonging, which can lead them to join gangs and extremist groups. “They become manipulative,” he said, which poses a greater risk of physical, emotional and sexual abuse in their own families. “They carry unresolved issues throughout their lives, which leads to generational cycles of bad parenting and more cycles of absenteeism and instability.”

Vogel encouraged fathers to plan initiations for their sons or traditions and ceremonies that include “inspiration, invitation and initiation.”

Vogel spoke of his own father, who had moved 25 times before graduating from high school. After settling in Jerome, Vogel’s dad promised himself and his future wife that he would not do the same to his family.

Joseph Vogel, the brother of Father Caleb Vogel, vicar general for the Diocese of Boise, said his parents are still in Jerome after 55 years of marriage. “We had stability from mom and dad; we saw mom and dad loving one another. And we were part of a community of believers, so there was also this opportunity to participate in community.”

In his own family, Vogel said he makes sure his children know he has a relationship with Jesus and that the children see their parents pray.

Listen to Father Tom Foley speak at the 10th annual Idaho Catholic Men's Conference sponsored by Salt & Light Radio.

FATHER JOSHUA WALTZ, a priest in the Diocese of Bismarck, N.D., spoke about the biblical theme of forgetting God and needing God’s mercy.

Recalling God’s saving signs from the Old Testament, Father Waltz challenged the men at the conference, saying, “You forgot.”

“You forgot who got you out of Egypt; you forgot who saved you and who worked incredible wonders to save you from tyranny.”

To remember God, men need to do three things, Father Watlz said: pray, love the cross and “do the things that He asks us to do.”

Father Waltz said the average Christian man spends only about six and a half minutes a day in prayer. “When I really started praying, my whole life changed. I began to see things differently; I was awake for the first time,” Father Waltz said. Prayer might seem boring at times, “but prayer isn’t about you,” he said. “The more we enter into it, the more we see Jesus working everywhere and at all times.”

The theme of the conference was “Viva Cristo Rey!” which means “Long live Christ the King,” the battle cry of the Cristeros who fought against the Mexican government that was suppressing the Church and killing priests in the 1920s. A banner of one of those priests, Blessed Miguel Pro, reminded men that serving the Lord can often mean resisting the prevailing culture.

In loving the cross, we begin to understand that we were made for relationship with a person, Father Waltz said. “We are made for communion.” The world says, “Come down from the cross, and then we’ll believe,” he said, recalling the words of the chief priests, scribes and elders as Jesus was hanging on the Cross (see Mt. 27:41-42).

Those in the world don’t want the message of the Cross at the center of their lives. “There’s something that you need to do that you haven’t done; that’s the message of the Cross,” he said. “The world is trying to pull us off the Cross. Jesus is trying to pull us onto it. What’s getting in your way?” he said.

BISHOP PETER CHRISTENSEN exhorted the men to grow deeper in their relationship with Jesus by being attentive to the call to discipleship.

When the disciples agreed to follow Jesus, they were, most likely, already aware of him, but there was an attraction, an intrigue to follow Him, even if they did not fully understand what that would mean, the Bishop said.

They likely progressed from mental knowledge to a more profound “heart knowledge” because Jesus was able to engage the disciples to grow closer to Him. “Just when you think you have the Lord figured out,” Jesus calls us to deeper growth in our relationship with Him, Bishop Peter said.

Not long after Bishop Peter was ordained to the priesthood in 1985, he was asked to become the spiritual director of the St. John Vianney College Seminary in St. Paul, Minn., near the parish where he was a pastor. Eighteen months into that call, the seminary rector had a health issue, and, then-Father Peter, was asked to become the acting rector. Not long after, the rector returned and asked him to become the permanent rector.

Archbishop John Roach of the Archdiocese of Minneapolis-St. Paul asked Father Peter to turn the seminary around, noting that it only filled 36 of the 120 available seats. Father Peter said he would, but asked for two years to do so. The Archbishop agreed.

He said he spent much time in prayer, reflecting on the passage from Psalm 127, “Unless the Lord builds the house, the builders labor in vain.” A year in, the Archbishop told him he had decided to close the seminary. Father Peter reminded the Archbishop of his two-year commitment, and the Archbishop agreed.

Father Peter invited people from throughout the Archdiocese to pray in Adoration for an increase in enrollment. Enrollment began to increase, and within six years, the seminary had 104 students, making it the largest college seminary in the United States.

“It was not my doing, but the Lord’s,” Bishop Peter said. “All I did was say yes.”

The Bishop asked the younger men at the Men's Conference to consider a vocation to the priesthood. “If we had known beforehand what we were getting into when called, we probably would not have done it, but when you look back on it, all you can say is, ‘Wow, what a delight,’” Bishop Peter said. “I was so glad I was called to be a priest and, even greater than that, I was so glad to be called a Bishop,” he said.

Fadness, a deacon at St. Mary’s Parish in Boise, was the Idaho Catholic Register editor from 2017-23. He currently teaches theology part-time at Bishop Kelly High School.