‘Tell them to seek help and not give up hope’

Mental health awareness event brings needed information and experts to Northern Idaho

Randal and Lisa Ormond on the beach in Florence, Ore. (Courtesy Photo/Lisa Ormond)

By Lisa Ormond

For the ICR

When I noticed that the Diocese of Boise was hosting “Mental Health: The Catholic Perspective” on Friday, April 25 and Saturday, April 26, at St. Thomas Parish in Coeur d’ Alene, I knew I would attend.

I’m a Catholic, I live in Northern Idaho and I am also a wife whose husband has a mental illness. My story is neither special nor particularly unique. I have friends who have loved ones with diagnosed mental disorders.

A mental health crisis in your life is not something you choose. Often, it just happens, coming out of nowhere and toppling you to your knees. It can happen in any family, and its arrival leaves a lasting impact. My husband struggles daily to see the light in his life.

I am an active member of the Coeur d’Alene National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) Family Support Group. We meet twice a month in Post Falls. We share, we cry, we laugh and we support one another on the lifelong journey of choosing to stand by our loved ones who have mental illness.

Like so many others in communities across this state, we silently but courageously carry a cross that is heavy and constant. The unseen grooves are deep in our shoulders and backs from the weight. It is a willing choice of the heart, a sacrifice.

They hurt, we hurt and we need others in our communities to stand by us with understanding, empathy, and kindness.

Why Care?

According to the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI, nami.org), mental illness can include anxiety disorders, mood disorders, psychotic disorders, eating disorders, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and neurodevelopmental disorders such as autism and attention-deficit/hyperactivity disorder.

The numbers are staggering: 

• 1 in 5 U.S. adults experience mental illness each year.

• 1 in 20 U.S. adults experience serious mental illness each year.

• 1 in 6 U.S. youth aged 6-17 experience a mental health disorder each year.

• Half of U.S. adults report experiencing a severe mental health crisis in their families.

• At least 8.4 million people in the U.S. provide care to an adult with a mental or emotional health issue.

Public awareness, stigma-busting, and advocating for better healthcare are a must.

Mental Health Ministry comes to Idaho

In late 2021, the Diocese of Boise received a grant from the National Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministers. This led to the formation of the Catholic Mental Health Ministry Team, an eight-person group composed of diocesan leaders and mental health professionals. A portion of those grant funds will cover the costs of the two-day workshop in April in Coeur d’Alene.

“I would encourage anyone who struggles with mental health or has a family member to attend,” said Jay Wonacott, Chair of the Diocesan Mental Health Committee.

The Ministry Team hopes that parish staff and ministers will attend both sessions of this two-day event, which will plant seeds among local parishioners.

“Our role as a diocese ministry is to help coach and encourage,” Wonacott said. “The real-life ministry happens at the parish level. We hope local parishes will develop their own parish-based mental health teams and provide faithful, practical care to their church communities.”

To learn more about the Coeur d’Alene event, “Mental Health: The Catholic Perspective,” or to register, visit dioceseofboise.org/event.

Making sense of the unknown

Randal and I married in 1989. During our Catholic wedding, I felt as though the Holy Spirit had ignited a spiritual fire within us. When we married, I knew I was where I was meant to be: by his side.

Over our 35 years of marriage, we have traversed tough trails like most couples—raising children, coping with deaths in our families from Alzheimer’s disease to cancer, the loss of jobs and security, relocation, etc. But nothing could have prepared us for these past years of coping with Randal’s crippling mental health disorders.

Looking back, we agree his mental health hurdles began surfacing about eight years ago with mood changes, increased anxiety and anger and general depression. He sought medical care for his symptoms but was told he was fine.

In May of 2023, Randal suffered his first severe panic attack and couldn’t breathe, causing an emergency room visit. Since then, we have been on a journey to find him comfort and wellness, discovering and uncovering the mysteries of the mind and body.

He has been admitted to two different hospital psychiatric units, visited emergency rooms two more times for mental symptom support and attended intensive outpatient therapy for nearly three months. He has been under the care of nearly 10 different psychiatrists and 10 mental health therapists/counselors; the list of the prescribed medications he has taken since is too long to share here.

Recently, we relocated from Moscow to the Coeur d’Alene area to gain access to more comprehensive medical and mental health care services.

There are no clear answers, no agreement about diagnoses and confusion continues about what might be the ‘right’ path for him. We attempt to make sense of the information we read in books, online and from numerous medical professionals. We have learned to navigate the grey areas of the situation.

There have been many nights when I have asked God for mercy and guidance.

Faith matters

In 2020, I returned to my Catholic roots, sensing I needed to reconnect with my faith and the Lord. I was raised Catholic by my father, Ron, who died around Christmas 2020 during the COVID pandemic. He had Alzheimer’s. I couldn’t attend his California funeral because I was immune compromised. We were close. I was desperate, alone and lost.

I began to attend Mass by myself, even though I knew no one in my local parish. I began to read the Bible and felt a deepening sense of God’s presence in my life. It wasn’t long before I was able to return to the sacraments. I quickly discovered my faith was offering me a way to cope and embrace the unsettledness. I just wanted to sense peace and be at peace.

I practiced Centering Prayer daily, fell to my knees before the Lord in Eucharistic Adoration, started writing, joined a church Bible study, and volunteered. I looked for the ‘angels’ in my life and began to experience joy. I was strengthened spiritually and mentally.

I also found nature to be a place where I could find silence and a beautiful space to listen to the Lord. Transformation began to take place within me. I learned to trust instead of fear. I was making strides to surrender to His will. It changed everything for me. Inner peace and healing came to my soul.

One day, after Mass, when tears welled up in my eyes, my parish priest offered me a simple piece of advice that I still hold dear: he pointed upward and said, “Just look up; God is there for you.”

Finding hope

Our journey is not over, and we realize it never will be. This wisdom allows our Lord to mercifully guide us in seeing and living with peace, freedom and acceptance.

There can be light, hope and love despite pain and suffering. Jesus taught us this through His Passion and Resurrection. This is the Jubilee Year of Hope, and we are called to be pilgrims of hope. And as one Coeur d’Alene priest recently announced at the end of a Saturday Mass, “As Catholics, we never give up.”

Mental illness is no longer an unknown adversary. We treat it like any medical condition that can unexpectedly strike a person or a couple. We face it with respect, patience and, most of all, love, knowing mental illness isn’t all we are.

We still have so much love to offer one another, as well as to others. Healing can happen, and God is faithful if we are patient.

I asked my husband, Randal, what he wanted ICR readers to know. He said, “Tell them to seek help and not give up hope.”

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Mental Health: The Catholic Perspective

Friday, April 25, 6:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m.

Saturday, April 26, 8 a.m. to 2 p.m.

St. Thomas Parish, Coeur d’Alene

For more information and to register, scan the QR code or call: 208-664-9259 x 2